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deducingyou-at-abbeyroad:

westborofaptist:

smiles-hide-secrets:

westborofaptist:

but what if 13/13/13 falls on a friday omg

What month is that again?

the month you finally get laid

image

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

european:

ordering food is so stressful

oate:

you only realise how bad the jokes on this site are until you actually say one out loud

riddlemehiddleston:

things that say a lot about a person

  • their favourite character
  • the lyrics they write on their hands
  • the colours they wear
  • which murder weapon they prefer
  • how they make their tea

swagturnedon:

what do you wanna do?

idk, what do you wanna do?

idk, what do you wanna do?

idk, what do you wanna do?

dansnipplehair:

orlandobloomers:

why is this dude wasting his fucking money on cigs when hes not gonna smoke em your fucking metaphor isnt worth that much homie get a job 

swimming-northbound:

this is literally all the motivation i would need 

epic-humor:

i accidentally messed up my life how do i start a new account

shuckl:

shuckl:

shuckl:

toast annoys me so much cos like it’s bread that’s been toasted so we call it “toast” but if you fry a potato it’s not called a “fry”

fries

do you ever look back at your mistakes

dashdrive:

if I lie here

if I just lay here

I’ll probably fall asleep so leave me alone